Monday, August 17, 2009

Yet another run for the Stooges

When a scheduled encounter with Onyxia fails, you can always count on the Three Stooges. That was the thought Laiskajaakko had when he was ploughing through the swampy, rotten smelling area known as the Swamp of Sorrows. He had been looking for the entrance to the much famed Broodmother's hideout, only to remember that he was completely in the wrong place: he should have been in the Duskwallow Marsh, as everyone knows, but no, his mind had failed him yet again. Thankfully no-one of the guild had paged for him and it was obvious that the scheduled run had dried up.

Off to the Outlands and to meet with the rest of the Stooges, who had joined during the wasted trip to the swamps.

The Three Stooges found a common solution to the question each one had been asking for a while: what should we do? The answer was simply Auchindoun. None of them had completed the four ominous instances, and even the bravest had dared to enter two of them. On the other hand, Förgelös and Bishopgeorge had tried to duo the Mana Tombs with some success, and had finally gotten some help from a replacement tank who wasn't quite as well versed with the fine art of dying as Laiskajaakko.

In few short and uneventfull moments -and only one misdirected flightpath- the heroes of the day came to the entrance of the instances, not knowing that they would see the same sight through the lense of a corpse run so many times in succession later...

Mana Tombs was as uneventfull as ever: Pandemonius went down in a breeze, causing Laiskajaakko ask the laughing stock question (Did he die already?), Tavarok fell like a brickwall, giving some nice mining loot and Nexus-Prince Shaffar tried to put up a fight. But what could they have done to the three heroes doing what heroes do when they are ten levels above the mobs, eh?

The next was Shethekk Halls with its mock-up personators of Dark Crystal's violent and ugly Skesis'. From the beginning on the Three Stooges called them just stupid birds and made sure to defile their plumed corpses again and again.The bird creatures weren't bad enough, but the sheer amount of the spellcasters and their combined effort almost was. Also the fear effect, which in itself is very fearsome, caused some troubles to the three heroic wimpies: It's very hard to look grand with poop in your pants, if you know what I mean.

But down they went, with just two well rehearsed death scenes from the stooges: the power of the group mind is so strong in this one...

Without a thought the Three Heroes Stooges decided to skip the Auchenai Crypts and plunged to the Shadow Labyrinth (ok, we forgot the fourth one in our excitement when we acquired the key. Happy?) Which was the first one to pose any real challenge to the three: Hellmaw was a spank and tank, and only thing 'terrible' with him was the fear, again. But no damage was done as the hall was empty of living souls to rub the fear on and create adds.

The first interesting thing was the combat with the Blackheart the Inciter: the mind control took the three by surprise, but by a miracle - and a good save from Bishopgeorge - only Förgelös got the taste of the bitter chalk of death: the priest and the warrior danced the dance till the last chord, and everyone was rejoicing. But were they ready for the Grandmaster Vorpil and his exploding balloons?


It took at least two corpse runs from the trio to reach the satisfactory solution to the problem of the exploding void walkers and ever renewing Vorpil. However, the last two battles had been among the most interesting, funny and entertaining ever for the trio, and they really relished the moment of the kill.

At this point the gear was almost dropping from their shoulders, as the damage and resurrections had taken their toll. Onwards to the mouth of the monster they went, following the dreadfull transcript of the Shadow Council and their clever idea of recalling Murmur into their aid.

The night had been long for the three married man, and they gave up on Murmur after the third try when their gear just ceased to be. It was so close, but still the Adventures of the Three Stooges in the Auchindoun Instances was a story that will be laughed upon for a long time.

Next time they will all die, claimed Laiskajaakko as they departed. Förgelös was quiet for a while and said: "Not without us running first naked through the countryside. Never!"

How true that may prove to be...